And Then There Was Ed
by Izzy41630
Summary: This is my first EENE fic, please RR, I can't say too much here without giving away the story, so you'll just have to read it! On hiatus for now.
1. Cheap tshirts and a sticky note

Disclaimer-I don't own nuttin' cept the town of Pear Brook. On with the show! Chapter 1.  
  
"Step right up! Get your t-shirts here!" Eddy shouted his sales pitch, hoping that this scam would be more successful then the last eighty- seven.  
  
"Eddy, please.Just give it up!" Double-D said, rather annoyed, as they had been sitting around waiting for almost an hour now, in the 'T-shirtz.' booth. "Nobody, I repeat, nobody is dumb enough to buy t- shirts made of glued-together paper bags." He held one of the bags, erm, messes, erm, t-shirts up , and it looked similar to the 'complimentary towel' Eddy tried to get Jimmy to take in their creek cruise scam.  
  
"It's comfy Eddy!" Ed said happily as he strutted around the sidewalk, wearing the afformentioned 't-shirt'."Yea!" Ed raised his arms above his head, causing the one-size-fits-none t-shirt to rip and fall off." Oops." Ed said as the pieces blew away.  
  
"ED!" Eddy shouted angrily,"Quit wastin' my merchandise!"  
  
" But Eddy," Ed began," I'm not wastin' my merchandise, I wastin' the t-shirts!"  
  
"Well cut it out!" Eddy shouted at he larger boy,"And it's my merchandise, not yours!"  
  
"Potato, banana."Ed said stupidly. Eddy growled, while Double-D chuckled, both at Ed's ignorance.  
  
"Hello Ed-boys." Rolf said as he walked up to the stand.  
  
"Rolf!" Eddy said happily as he zipped behind the stand."What can I do ya' for?"  
  
" Rolf wishes to purchase your fine garments." Rolf said as he gestured to the t-shirts.  
  
"Fine garments?" Double-D said in disbelief," Rolf, please, these are merely-oof!" he was interuppted by Eddy giving him a hard jab in the shoulder with his elbow.  
  
"So Rolf," Eddy said, with that fake cheeriness that we rarely see nowadays( Mainly because it never works anymore). "How many would ya like?"  
  
"With a material so fine," Rolf said as he felt the paper, "Rolf wishes to purchase them all!"  
  
"All of them?!" Eddy and Double-D shouted simultaneosly, although both of different tones, Eddy of greed and happiness, Double-D of, well, let's just say he thinks Rolf's a idiot.  
  
"Yes, all of them."Rolf said, "Must I repeat myself, as with Rolf's chickens when they are not to be laying an egg for Rolf's breakfast?" Rolf felt the shirt again," Never has Rolf felt such fine and thin silk."  
  
"Silk?" Double-D said with the same tone as the first time he tried to explain, but more frustrated," Rolf, please! It's just- aah!" another jab from Eddy, and this time a commentary along with it.  
  
"Shut up Sockhead!" Eddy whispered, " You're gonna' blow it!"  
  
" I will pay you, how you say?" Rolf pondered," Five deer for all of them."  
  
" That's 'bucks' Rolf." Double-D said, rubbing his shoulder."Wait a minute, did you say...?"  
  
" FIVE BUCKS?!" Eddy shouted as he started to drool happily. Rolf took out the fiver and extended it towards Eddy.  
  
" Hey Rolf," Kevin said as he walked over."What's up?"  
  
Rolf pulled the five back, causing Eddy (who was diving for it.) to slam his face on the table.  
  
Rolf licked his finger and stuck it in the air."The sky is blue with the fluffy white shapes that ressemble Nana's backside , Kevin." Rolf said, apparently now a weatherman," and the wind is blowing at 17 clams a workhorse."  
  
Kevin stared blankly for a moment, as did Eddy and Double-D, wheras Ed danced around in the backround, oblivious to anything that was going on." I mean," Kevin said," What are you doing with the dorks?"  
  
" Rolf is purchasing this fine silk." He gestured to the t- shirts.  
  
" Yea, " Eddy said, still drooling, "But you can't get im without payin first." Eddy snatched the fiver out of Rolf's hands, and then saw that it was covered in spit from the little weatherman bit. "Ewwwww." Eddy said as he held it away from him.  
  
" Oh, be still my salami." Ed said as he took the bill out of Eddy's hands and sniffed it, sucking up all of the saliva." It is fresh!"  
  
"Ed!" Eddy shouted, "Gimme back my money!"  
  
" Gimme Gimme never sniffs the saliva Eddy." Ed said goofily as he held the money out of Eddy's reach.  
  
" Well," Kevin said as he walked closer," There goes my appetite."  
  
" As well as mine." Double-D said, disgusted.  
  
" Rolf will be taking the garments now." Rolf said as he began to untack them. Kevin looked at one, then the others.  
  
" Uh, dude." Kevin said plainly,"That's just paper."  
  
"Do not be silly Kevin." Rolf said smugly, " Rolf knows silk when he sees it."  
  
Kevin grabbed one of the t-shirts."Does silk rip like this?" Kevin proceeded to rip the t-shirt. Rolf looked at it for a moment.  
  
"SWINDELERS!" Rolf screamed, livid."You dare to fool the son of a sheperd once again?! Rolf will not stand for this! "  
  
All three Eds looked at Rolf in shock, and fear.  
  
Rolf turned towards Kevin" Let us, how you say? 'Gram ' the Ed-boys?"  
  
"Pound, Rolf," Kevin said as he gesturingly punched his open left hand with his fist, " We're gonna' pound em."  
  
"Run away!" The three Eds shouted together as they ran back up Double-D's driveway, Ed dropping the money as he ran.  
  
"NO!" Eddy shouted as he ran back,"My money!"  
  
" No Eddy!" Double-D said as he and Ed dragged Eddy towards the house," It's not worth it!"  
  
The three boys ran inside Double-D's house and Double-D locked the door behind them.  
  
"Whatcha' do that for?!" Eddy asked angrily, " I coulda' taken Kevin on, he doesn't scare me."  
  
" OPEN UP DORKS!" Kevin shouted as he banged on the door, causing Eddy to shriek like a little girl and hide behind Ed.  
  
Double-D stepped up to the door and cupped his hands over his mouth to create a more computerized-sounding voice." Please leave the premises, you are on private property, you have ten seconds until the electronic missiles attack."Double-D said.  
  
The boys heard Kevin say"Oh Boy.." and then they heard his and Rolf's footsteps running away.  
  
" Great plan Double-D," Eddy praised, "Glad I thought of it." His and Ed's stomachs rumbled."Y'know, all this great thinking makes me hungry, let's get some lunch."  
  
" Alright, "Double-D said as they walked to the kitchen,"I'll make us some sandwiches.Garbanzo paste and cucumber okay?"  
  
"P.B. and J, Double-D" Eddy said, kinda annoyed, " Just, P.B. and J, okay?"  
  
*******************  
  
5 minutes, and two Ed-sized bites out of the table later....  
  
" Ed, Please!" Double-D pleaded as he brought the sandwiches over, " Eat the sandwich, not the table."  
  
He went back to get the milk when he saw a very large sticky note on the fridge, "Hmm, what's this?" He whispered to himself. He read the note quickly and his eyes got that 'I'm-about-to-cry' look. Without turning his back, He spoke to Ed and Eddy," Um, gentleman, could you please, uh, do me a favour and, uh, well, leave now?"  
  
"What? Why?" Eddy asked as he stood up.  
  
"Just, please, go. "Double-D said, still facing the fridge." I have something to deal with right now, you can come back later."  
  
" Um, okay. " Eddy said, confused as he walked out the back door, " C'mon Ed."  
  
Ed headed after him," Can I keep the sandwich?"  
  
Double-D chuckled lightly, "Yes, Ed, you can keep it."  
  
Ed smiled as he stuffed it into his pocket."Okay, see- ya-later Double-D!" He waved.  
  
" Right, later..."Double- D said, with his back still to them, he turned towards the hallway, "See you later."  
  
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Well that's it for this chapter, I hope you liked it so far. What did the note say? Isn't Kevin still outside waiting for the Eds? What, Oh, what will be come of that P.B. and J sandwich?!? Plz R+R, I want at least three rvw's before I put up the next chapter, See You Later! 


	2. They forgot about Kevin!

Chapter2.  
  
"Man," Eddy said, pondering, as he and Ed walked around the house to the street," I wonder what's up with Double-D?"  
  
Ed suddenly gasped"Maybe The Zucchini Men from Pluto have pummeled his brain!"  
  
" Speaking of pummeling..." Ed and Eddy heard behind them, and they turned around, and saw Kevin!  
  
"Kevin!" Eddy and Ed gasped.  
  
" Yes, " Rolf said across from Kevin,"Rolf wishes also to gram the Ed-boys!"  
  
"I told you already Rolf,"Kevin said, ignoring Ed and Eddy," It's 'pound', not 'gram'."  
  
"Same thing."Rolf said simply  
  
"Nu-uh!" Kevin disagreed.  
  
" Is so!"Rolf argued.  
  
While the boys were arguing, Eddy saw that he and Ed could get away while Kevin and Rolf were distracted."Hey Ed," he whispered,"I think we can get away while Kevin and Rolf are distracted."  
  
Ed and Eddy started to sneak away quietly, while Rolf and Kevin were arguing, but Kevin saw them!"Hey!" He shouted," Get back here!"  
  
"Run for it!" Eddy shouted as he and Ed dashed back up to Double-D's house. They reached the door, and.." OH man! It's locked!" Eddy screamed in desperation. Kevin was closing in on them, all Eddy could do was close his eyes and hope it would be a quick pummeling.  
  
"I'll get you, Dork!"Kevin shouted as he leapt at Eddy.But Ed grabbed Eddy and pulled him away, just in time for Eddy to open his eyes and see Kevin slam himself face-first into the door.  
  
" Alright Ed!" Eddy praised.  
  
" Now it is Rolf's turn!" Rolf shouted, running at them.  
  
"Run, Ed, Run!"Eddy ordered.  
  
"Thank you for shopping!" Ed shouted as he ran arund to the back door, still carrying Eddy by the head.  
  
They reached the back door and Ed threw it open, then threw Eddy inside , then threw himself inside, then threw the door shut, just in time to see Rolf throw himself against the screen door.(There's more throwing going on in here than at a baseball game!)  
  
"Phew,"Eddy sighed,"Close one."  
  
He turned around to go upstairs,"Ya comin' Ed?" Eddy asked over his shoulder.  
  
"But , Eddy..." Ed said, worried, "Double-D said to come back later."  
  
"But it is later Ed," Eddy said as he pointed to the clock, which read 12:38," see, it's been 2 minutes since we left."  
  
"Okay Eddy" Ed said, obviously satisfied, as he followed Eddy up the stairs to Double-D's room.  
  
They reached Double-D's room, and Eddy pressed his ear against the door, straining to hear, and he heard, what sounded like someone crying. "Why the heck would Double-D be crying?" Eddy whispered. Ed shrugged .  
  
"Okay then,"Eddy said ,"On three, we go in. One, two,...."  
  
**************************************** That's it for this chapter folks, I hope you liked it!Sorry it took so long, I'll try to get the next one up soon! 


	3. Banky returns!

Chapter 3.  
  
"Wait!"Ed said, stopping Eddy in mid-sentence,"Do we go in on three, or do you say three, and then we go in?"  
  
"We go in on, uh," Eddy replied,"Um, uh, Oh man! You made me forget! Thanks a lot Ed."  
  
"You're welcome Eddy." Ed said as he walked through the closed door, into Double-D's room.  
  
"Eh well," Eddy said as he walked through the busted door,"At least we're in. Hey Double-D!"  
  
Eddy turned his head to face Double-D, and saw that his eyes were red.  
  
"Oh, Ed, Eddy!"Double-D said, surprised to see them back so soon."I-I wasn't expecting you back for a while." He ended this sentence with a quick sniffle, and then rubbed his eyes.  
  
"What the heck's wrong with you?" Eddy asked as he sat on the chair , and leaned back so it touched the desk.  
  
" Whasamatter Double-D?"Ed said, slurring four words into one, like a child. He sat down on the end of the bed, beside Double-D. He looked down into Double-D's hands, and saw "BANKY!"Ed screamed, as he tore the small blue cloth out of Double-D's hands."I missed you Banky!"  
  
"Banky?" Eddy said, confused as to why Double-D would still have that old thing. " Lemme see it Ed." Ed tossed the blue ratty looking blanket over to Eddy.  
  
"Eddy!" Double-D shouted, sitting up straighter,"Give it back!"  
  
"It's Banky alright." Eddy said, inspecting it,"So what's wrong this time?" Eddy tossed the blanket back over to Double-D.  
  
"Wh-what makes you think anything's w-wrong?" Double-D asked, stammering as he held the blanket to his chest.  
  
"One: you're stammering, and that's definitely not a good sign for anyone." Eddy replied," And two: The last time you brought Banky out of the closet was in fourth grade, after you got a 'B' in gym." Ed stood up.  
  
"Oh!Oh!" Ed raised his hand, like he had something to add," And after he thought he lost his hat in grade two."  
  
Eddy continued " Oh yea, and in grade six, when he got his I.Q. test mixed up with yours, Ed, and thought he was an idiot."  
  
" I remember that." Ed said smiling, " Oh, and don't forget the time he..."  
  
"Alright! Alright! I get the point!" Double-D shouted, annoyed," So just what is your point?"  
  
" My point is,"Eddy continued, " That you only bring out that hunk-a-junk when you're totally upset about something.Like the time Kevin stole your Ant Farm and wouldn't give it back."  
  
"Or when your parent's thought of moving away." Ed said,chuckling.  
  
Double-D gasped and closed his eyes, trying to hold back the tears.  
  
"Hey, what's wrong Double-D?" Ed said as he sat back down on the bed and put his arm on Double-D's shoulder.  
  
"It-it's nothing, really." Double-D choked out between sobs.  
  
"C'mon sockhead," Eddy said meanly, "Spit it out."  
  
"W-well you know that last thing that Ed said ?" Double-D said, hoarsely.  
  
" You mean when I said that thing about your family moving away?" Ed asked .  
  
"Well what about it.......... WHAT?!" Eddy suddenly realized what was wrong."Please tell me that I'm wrong that you're moving away!"  
  
Double-D threw himself against Ed's chest and sobbed uncontrollably." Eddy, what's going on?" Ed said stupidly.  
  
"Ed, you idiot!" Eddy stood up, tipping the chair over, "Can't you see that Double-D's moving?!"  
  
"Double-D? Moving?" Ed hugged Double-D and began to sob along with him. If you look closely at Eddy, you can tell that he's on the verge of tears, but trying to hide it.  
  
"Why? Where?When?"Eddy asked quickly.  
  
Double-D lifted his head up and sniffled." Job transfer, Pear Brook, next week." He spit out simply.  
  
"Say what?" Eddy asked, confused.  
  
"My parent's got tranferred to Pear Brook city,"Double-D explained,"And we're moving next week!" He sobbed into Banky, the worn down old blanket, which, if you look closely, is completely soaked by now.  
  
"Pear Brook?" Eddy wondered," Isn't that place like completely urban?"  
  
" That's the worst part about it." Double-D replied," I hate the city! Sure they have all of thos libraries and stuff, but I hate all of the noise, the crowds, the pigeons.."He shuddered. "So-many-pigeons..."  
  
"What?" Eddy said, as he cocked his head to the left, looking at Double-D like he thought he was nuts.  
  
"Long story. " Double-D explained," Basically it ends with me being plastered to the sidewalk with pigeon excrement."  
  
"What the heck is ex-cree-mint?" Eddy asked, confused.  
  
Double-D explained by shuddering and sticking out his tongue in disgust.  
  
"Huh?" Eddy thought out loud." Ohhhhh.....You mean, EW!Ew!EW!That is so gross! How did you, Mr. Clean-everything-in-sight, survive that?"  
  
"With thirty-eight consecutive baths, that's how."Double-D said.  
  
"Ewwwww!" Ed finally said.  
  
"What?" Eddy asked," You finally figured out what Double-D meant?"  
  
"No! Baths!EW!"Ed said, disgusted.  
  
"That explains so much."Double-D said, finally realizing why Ed always stunk.  
  
"So you've only got one week left here?"Eddy asked.  
  
"That's right,"Double-D said sadly."I'll be leaving Peach Creek in exactly six days, nineteen hours, twenty-six minutes, and eleven seconds."  
  
"Oh that's plently of time then." Ed said happily, as he stood up,"I thought you said you were leavin' in a week.Well See-Ya' Double-D."  
  
" Yeah, we'd better split, and let ya' pack."Eddy said as he and Ed stepped through the hole in the door." Talk to ya' later Sockhead."  
  
"Bye." Double-D said sadly as he leaned back on his bed, then stood up and walked over to the window."I'm really gonna' miss this place. I mean, I grew up here, I don't wanna' leave all these memories behind." He saw Ed and Eddy running over to Ed's house, while being chased by Kevin and Rolf.  
"But most of all," He sniffed," I don't wanna' leave my best friends behind." He turned away from the window, and looked at ..  
"GOOD LORD! MY DOOR! WHAT DID THEY DO TO...?!" He screamed, but then stopped and sighed. He walked back over to his bed, and laid down," Eh well." He said, uncharacteristically,"It's not like I'm gonna' be here that much longer anyway."  
  
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Hi! I changed this chapter a bit coz I didn't like where the old one ended, so I changed it! I hope you like it! Plz R+R!^_^ 


	4. Wasting time with a Watermelon

Chapter 4.  
  
"Get back here , Dork!" Kevin shouted, while he and Rolf ran after Ed and Eddy.  
  
"Quick Eddy!"Ed shouted to his shorter friend," To my house! I have a watermelon!"  
  
"A watermelon?"Eddy asked, "How the heck's that gonna' help us?!"  
  
The two boys ran towards Ed's house. Ed opened the door, letting Eddy go through first, then ran inside himself.  
  
"Ed! You moron!"Eddy shouted, both angry and scared,"You left the door open!"  
  
It seemed as if Ed didn't hear Eddy, he ran to the kitchen and opened the fridge. When he did, there was like an angelic glow. He reached inside....  
  
"Ed! Help!!" Eddy shouted as Kevin ran inside, with Rolf close behind, both ready to pummel the two Eds.  
  
"Take this!" Ed shouted as he threw(gasp!) a mouldy watermelon at Kevin and Rolf. The blow knocked the two back outside onto Ed's lawn. Ed quickly slammed the door shut and plugged his ears. There was a small explosion- type sound. Eddy walked cautiously closer to the door. Ed carefully opened it to reveal......  
Kevin and Rolf covered in mouldy blue watermelon fragments and mouldy yellow watermelon slime.  
  
"Oh man!" Kevin screamed in disgust, "This is so gross! I gotta get this stuff off before somebody sees me!" He ran home, dripping yellow slime all the way.  
Rolf simply sat there, as a piece of thick slime dripped from his forehead to just above his mouth. He stuck his tongue out and licked around his face, sucking up the slime.  
"Hmmmmmm." Rolf said as he stroked his chin in thought.He smacked his lips," Ah yes," He said, and stood up." This will make a fine meal for Rolf's family." He went around and gathered up the fragments. Ed closed the door.  
  
"O-kaaaay...." Eddy said ," That was even grosser than Double-D getting covered in pigeon excra, extra, excree, ah forget it!" He said in frustration, "That was even grosser than Double-D getting covered in pigeon poop!"  
  
"Eddy,"Ed said, worried," I don't think you can say 'poop' on tv."  
  
"Well then we're both in trouble." Eddy said insincerely, "Cause you just said it too."  
  
Ed gasped."Oh no!Please forgive me oh Mighty Lord of tv!" He got down on his knees and bowed to the sky as he said this."I will never do it again! I promise!"  
  
"Ed,"Eddy said, really annoyed by now," Forget it! Lets just go do something, okay?"  
  
" Okay Eddy." Ed said happily, just as before.The two walked to Ed's basement room.  
  
" Hey, Ed." Eddy said to get the larger boy's attention.  
  
"Yes Eddy?" Ed asked.  
  
" Since when do watermelons explode?"Eddy asked.  
  
"Since I left it out last January."Ed replied.  
  
Eddy thought to himself"Note to self: never give Ed food that can go rotten."  
  
Okay, that's the end of this chapter-It looks like the only food Eddy can give Ed now is honey! At least I heard that honey is the only food that never goes bad. Sorry for the delay, but I've been busy with my play in Drama club-The Death and Life of Sneaky Fitch. I have to die in the very first scene-talk about ego crush! Anyways, I hope you guys review! CYA! 


End file.
